Yesterdays post at ACJF, http://cryingoutforjustice.com/2015/07/03/a-typical-characteristic-of-an-abuser-he-never-stops-trying/, addresses this very phenomenon: It is not surprising that abusers are accusers. Or were they connected with teachings similar to an article I wrote, Wife Undermines Her Husbands Authority in Front of Children, He DisciplinesHer? In light of this typical new customer journey, I think its reasonable to suggest that people choosing this lifestyle put much more thinking into their relationships and are more intellectually alert than the average person going the default way. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Julie Anne can be reached at: JA@SpiritualSoundingBoard.com, Kathi can be reached at: Kathi@SpiritualSoundingBoard.com. Such as, not seeing them alone, only meeting in public, and if you need overnight accommodations to see them, NEVER stay at their place or let them stay at yours. When we finally got to my parents, I figured I was safe so I started again. Anne Garboczi Evans, that is terrible! . Wheres the barf bag? . They like their wrists held, maybe, or even being tied to the bed. Now ( standard marriage) she refused to wash the until tomorrow as a result of this and her attitude the marriage is over. By consent is OK, we read. Biblical Principles Which Determine a WomansWeight, Biblical Principles Which Determine a MansWeight. Please go and speak to a pastor in a completely different church from the one they were in (I should recommend a sister in a Pentecostal church, but thats just my personal suggestion) and I know you will get more than a sympathetic ear. My mom told me that dad only punished her because he loved her, and that in a Christian family dad was in charge and no one can ever disobey him. But often I would struggle or try to escape but he was big and strong enough to hold me in place and then would tell me I was getting more for disobeying and struggling. I see no interest whatsoever on your side on actually studying what you are talking about. The best part of domestic discipline is what has happened emotionally between this long-time married couple. 4000 kids a day get killed for being conceived in the wrong womb. Domestic Discipline and the Bible Although defenders of domestic discipline argue that their lifestyle is biblically-based, many Christian religious leaders disagree. They just dont want to be p**s*sy w**pp*d into it. That day we were getting ready to spend the day with my parents. Lydia00, Eph 5:21 does not contradict what follows., I agree. Try a bit of balance, do. He was suggesting that were all marching in lockstep with feminism, so I joked that we argue so much precisely because we agree on everything. The second thing we were asked was for Ben to spank me in front of Pastor and his wife. I would however disagree with the notion that these laws were well-inspired. Were they surprised by it? This may help you win a popularity contest in this community, but if you really are a spiritual man and aspire to justice, I would quote Proverbs 28:5 : Evil men do not understand justice, But those who seek the LORD understand all things. They plan these relationships and there is no knowledge asymmetry. Well, 100pinkapples, lone wolf comes around to accuse you of being in a rage. I grew up in Europe and the Middle East. I had my hands up and she walks into me. Jamin was not told about the allegations made against him by [redacted] to me. Weenie-chopping? Do not expect her to be silent through this experience though. Jennas Punishment Spanking (Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage #1) During a disagreement, Jenna storms out of the house without telling her husband where she's going. The article I linked to at 4:14 PM distinguishes between unforgiveness and grieving. I got spanked at home until I left to be with my ex when I was 21. The Bible does not teach that men have God given authority over women. If not which of you 2 does? . I found an old post of yours from last year. Was your church aware of what was going on? Ive been exploring submission for some time, and the one thing that I have discovered above anything else is the fact that wifely submission brings harmony to a home. Christian Domestic Discipline / Spencer Respect and Submission in domestic discipline Respect and Submission are of particular importance in a marriage because the standard marriage vows for the bride always included the phrase to love, honor and obey her husband. Plausible? Are you able to support yourself okay? Its not just me that talks about your husband having authority, Julie Anne. In the case you need to discipline your wife while on a voyage, you know you can do so without attracting attention. However, since it would not be good to, myself, come across as as condescending, I will not do that. I wanted to get far away from my vile self worshipping misogynistic Christian father, I never wanted to have sex again or be subject to a man again. Finally, I would suggest that the fix you are suggesting are the reasons domestic discipline has been making a come back lately and is here to stay. Sex is much deferent for women than it is for men, it is often miserable, especially when the vomit on you thinks you have to be submissive to him like a dog or sex slave, and you cant tell him no! Domestic Discipline and the Bible Although defenders of domestic discipline argue that their lifestyle is biblically-based, many Christian religious leaders disagree. You think you are just but you are what the Bible calls a mocker. There may be role-plays or dressing up. Its quite amazing that she had the strength to leave. I am the only one who has had the honesty actually to quote passages of scripture. But you havent provided us with any Scripture that supports your sexist views of women nor raunch, in the form of spanking, in the bedroom. I started going to their church and before long was a very active member. What I can however say is that what you describe isnt generally speaking the spirit of domestic discipline. In this first article we will demonstrate how the practice of domestic discipline aligns perfectly with Biblical principles and commands regarding marriage. I remember being mortified our wedding night and wanted to find something sexy that would make me feel good (and I thought he would like, too). I was so embarrassed! Yes, I believe there is a cut off line as to how old a child should be when he gets a spanking though. You put it out there for me to read about, and Ill say something about it. As that is what it really boils down to. And with that final parting shot, we can all say good bye and good riddance to Lone Voice. Instead of, you know, just talking to each other. As someone that has been burned and sexually abused I can say there is nothing worse then intercourse with a misogynist, men that go on about male headship, female submission to men. Yes, guys, best leave 100PinkApples raging away because it suits your purpose better to have her stay unforgiving and bitter. Trouble is, he will not be able to help himself. Dark child, your nickname tells me something about your view. Let these people do their thing. Claire Roise: Oppressed and Defenseless Women within the Church, Flying Free: Help for Survivors of Emotional Abuse, Lori Anne Thompson on Clergy Sexual Misconduct. But unlike the "Cry U.S.E." If he loved his wife he would not want her to have sex against her will, if Christian men loved women they would not want them to have sex against their will. Now, I am not condoning what happened to Lauren, because it appears she was not consenting. Your attempt to broad brush all who disagree with you as feminists does not work. Rather, please accept it as simply expressing a differing point of view. If you find a bad doctor you dont rubbish the whole of medicine. That jerk exploited me financially and was a self absorbed loser who took no interest in me or my career: he made the entire relationship about him and getting his needs met and didnt care about meeting my needs. I dont know how wide-spread the practice was, but I remember my parents had no problem threatening me with discipline where other people from our church were within earshot and dont remember ever hearing any kind of shock or outrage from anyone else. A Lone Voice, your voice will be really lonely in the SSB doghouse if you keep up with the condescending remarks. For instance, those who practice domestic discipline often cite scripture that calls for wives to submit to their husbands. I wish there wasnt a knee-jerk reaction to the word submissive but unfortunately there is such a stigma. Michael is worried sick over his wife's whereabouts, and he's determined to put a stop to her irresponsible behavior. He preyed on his teen age nanny girl! Hes not a victim, hes a kinky dude with odd underwear. We left and started the long drive to my parents house and after about an hour I started again. Really? Oh, come on, JA; Daisy of course speaks for all of us, which is why Daisy debates many of us, I believe myself included. However, the husbands are commanded to love us.Bottom linemen would rather be respected than loved. Pat Robertson is another known figure in Christiandom who has said some shocking statements about how husbands should treat wives. Men do not step up to the plate to defend women. James truly believed in Except the exegeises you have been taught, does contradict. You think that your intolerance is acceptable because you are on the side of political correctness. Can a Domestic Discipline Relationship be loving? TIL hitting your spouse is the key to making relationships work. Christianity is a lot harder on women and children than it is for men, the men are living like kings and gods, promoting their superiority and rule while women and children are living like trapped miserable bottom kissing slaves. Satan only quoted scripture in the Temptations once, when he ran out of patience, because our gracious Lord was quoting scripture to him every single time, from the book of Deuteronomy. Its a logical progression. Many of them are even written by women in these relationships. Especially in situations where the woman feels something is wrong but might not think of herself as abused. My husband was only two years older (but he is close to 6 feet tall and heavily muscled and I am around 5 feet talland under 100 lbs). One clue to you that your gender role views are un-bilbical is that they only apply to, are often only applied to, middle class, white American married mothers. Bike Bubba, when your wife dresses as a french maid, you still see her, albeit as a french maid, and not Kim Kardashian or some other woman (and I really fear for your taste as well Kim Kardashian of all people). [redacted] said Jamin is very controlling. I wanted to know how did Lauren get from the point where wife spanking was considered normal to the place where she said, THIS IS WRONG it is ABUSE!. It got to the point that I would make myself cry almost as soon as he started to spank me and would get 3 swat spankings and a I hope in the future you remember this. I did cry as soon as possible. Sis has been married 3 times already, and bro is still married, but is miserable as his wife treats him the same as mom treats dad. Jennas Punishment Spanking (Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage #1) During a disagreement, Jenna storms out of the house without telling her husband where she's going. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, and you are unwilling to come to Me (John 5.39, 40). Even when we get punished when we think we didnt do anything wrong we cant be disobedient. The worst things always begins with good intentions, but it only takes a couple of fixes to totally corrupt Gods truth and turn order into confusion. I read someone say they did have to obey, even in that, because she is to obey in EVERYTHING. This posthas been very difficult for me emotionally. I do not agree with your philosophies and fixes, but I feel no drive or desire to label you as mentally sick. Youre the one with issues and hang ups in regards to sexuality. Cant get strength that will defend them a la Roy Rogers, so you get strength that will slap you around a la Gray or John Wayne in his worse moments. We continue to call it abuse, despite the fact that it happens between two consenting* adults, and we continue to prosecute those teachers who abuse their students. Finally, Daisy be more Christ-like; keep your nose out of my bedroom.. [I then asked Lauren if shed be willing to share her story anonymously.]. If a man and a woman are not dating yet. Wifes getting spanked like being spanked. It is very disturbing to read. For anyone wanting many more articles, and explanations, and rebuttals to the sexist views Slander and lies are his stock and trade and so it is with his children. Im not prepared to claim that lonely wolf is a child of the devil, but I do suggest that there is plenty of reason for the exercise of discernment. I have already done that in my previous posts like The Biblical Case for Domestic Discipline. Whats the problem with superior/inferior relationships? The point is that whenever we are in a tough spot, I always emphasize that its whatever he decides and he knows that. Youre filtering Scriptures not only through your experiences, but also a previous assumption that God approves and condones patriarchy, and you read that back into the Bible. Your views are not applicable and do not work for women who are in poverty, who live in other nations, and who are never-married, widowed, infertile, divorced. And now for the part that might get me consigned to the doghouse: He is one pompous donkey. For your prescription is to amputate all arms because some hands could possibly get infected at some point in the future. This new way has made us loving, more loving than ever before. Time to go. Your desire to lord authority over your wife and get off on that and doing kinky acts in the bedroom is your personal preference, it is not biblical. It doesnt matter if millions of legitimate lives deviating from the average are frustrated and destroyed in the process, these are just data points). I thought the periods might have been missing letters for a larger word. I want any other women reading this to know that your (Lone Voices) position is NOT biblical, and God created women to lead and teach men if he gifted them in those areas, and God created women to be equals with men in marriage. Christian Domestic Discipline - 09-23-2011, 11:08 PM. (Daisy, it is my hope and prayer, by the way, that in the cases I disagree with you, I do so without being disagreeableblessings to you, and my apologies for when I fail in this). When this day happens, the laws will already have been written but will not be enforced or taken seriously anymore, so with many regards, the state of women will be worse than it used to be because theyll be nothing clear they can do to improve their fate. Did you even read the post? Im very grateful to Lauren for her e-mailand being willing to shed more light into this abusive practice so that we can have more understanding of what she and many others are going through. So dont quote the half of a verse which you like, miss out the half you dont and then accuse me of distorting verses when all I did was quote them! his God-given authority and actually lead.. That alone gives me a strong desire to please him.What I am trying to say is MENIf you lead she WILL follow, and she will be content in doing so. Anonymous, christiandomesticdiscipline.com, 5. Junia was a female apostle who taught men. When you wrote: You cannot find a single Bible verse that says that never married adult women must submit to a man because there is no such concept you had forgotten Numbers 30:3-5. So husbands are not unilaterally to refuse conjugal relations to the wives, nor vice versa. I know some of each do as a weapon. Finally, at the risk of getting my very own self consigned to the SSB Doghouse, who is this Lone Voice who comes around lecturing on forgiveness, especially when he gives every evidence of being the sort who is highly apt to provoke the very need forgivenessand that on an ongoing basis. In the above examples, we see non-denominational, charismatic/evangelical, Reformed Presbyterian denominations represented. THATS JUST WRONG! I will say this. Nope, A Lone Voice, Im not going there with you. [redacted] said the next morning Jamin made her wear a turtle neck to church so nobody would see the bruises. As far as this message is concerned I understand and respect your point. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. And the thought of a Pentecostal being in to kinky, spanking fetishes is hilarious. You do not understand what you are attacking. Do not expect her to be silent through this experience though. Im so glad you found the strength to leave your abusive marriage. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. 50 Things I Want To Tell My Daughter On Her 18thBirthday, To The Mother Figures In Our Lives: You Made Us Who We AreToday, Time To Drink From Gold Chalices Love Is Blind Season 4 IsHere, Why Horror Is So Much Scarier When Its Located In A BigCity, My HIV+ Story Is One I Refuse To Be AshamedOf. Do you have any children? Not only him, but the church and the people there. Then all the feminists have jumped around and yelled at me that I am mis-interpreting them. But I have come to believe that there was a form of CDD/DD in the days of the bible. photo credit: Chiara Cremaschi via photopin cc. It seems the only difference between the role of a father and the role of new husband is that the new husband gets sexual privileges and now has someone to cook and clean for him, and bear children. ), (Cherry picking or distorting verses such as _1 Tim 2.12_ and keep tossing them my way does not count. [redacted] never told the investigating deputy the truth about what was going on that night because Jamin told her they would both be arrested, and law enforcement would take their children away. There are many things practiced all over the globe that would not be suitable for Christians. How come society thinks women arent bright enough to dial 911? Make sure that everything you support is not flushed down the toilet because of arrogance, intolerance and a misplaced desire for controlling peoples lives. And he would sometimes spout off this genteel junk about how men should be nice to ladies. God doesnt love us any less than men but he made us to serve in the home. If some of them change their mind at some point, this is ok, but their testimonies do not make the lifestyle an abuse. You are not making any case, you are simply asserting that your personal religious views are better and therefore should be turned into laws. You choose to call it domestic discipline. For where does it end ? My daughters and I attend Sunday school that our pastor does for all the women who get spanked when they are bad. Just as our Lord washed the feet of His disciples, it wasnt to show that He was beneath them, but to show that real leadership serves. Regina, christianforums.net, 9. I offer personal advice and mentorship in marriage to men or women who contact me. Julie Anne, like Daisy, you too are filtering the Bible through experiences as well as using a logical non-sequiter. I submit that every target of physically, emotionally or spiritually abusive behavior is our sister or brother, and that no perpetrator, absent real repentance, is to be embraced as family. For, right now most people in this thread seem to be in a bubble of self-righteousness that tends to look ridiculous from the outside, especially when the scientists obviously know nothing about the object of their analysis. Just to let you know that this comment section is an echo chamber of better than thou and how can this folly even exist people. There you will get a bit more info why I believe this is biblical. Glad that I could help. Im afraid were wasting our time attempting to engage somebody who justifies the abuse of women. I just dont have the time or energy to debate people like A Lone Voice. My husband is simply the boss of my home. Becki, everydaymiracles.hubpages.com, 8. I mean, on Star Trek, Kirk listened to Spock all of the time, but Kirk was still the boss. I agree with that. This 3. I write about marital discipline in a Christian home at my website spankingyourwife.wordpress.com. The best part of domestic discipline is what has happened emotionally between this long-time married couple. A friend of mine from work saw how down I was. Feminism is merely a modern Western aberration. Am I Enabling My Cheating Husbands Sin by Staying withHim? 1. are not healthy in a relationship. Ok, so this is more widespread than I suspected if its crossing over into charismatic churches. As a little girl my biggest dream was to have the right to say NO to sex, NO to men. Watts' first-hand experience of Fundamentalist Christian male dominance is pretty sobering. The safety plan needs to be reviewed and modified whenever the situation changes e.g. It really is that good. I think he probably smacked my bottom about 10 times (bare bottom, OTK, with his hand). Jamin usually keeps a pistol under the mattress and one on top of the refrigerator. I really think this is biblical. My dad was a PhD and he beat me with a belt without my consent. But through this, the emotional, physical, and mental connections between us are incredible, especially the physical. Comfortable, but very childish, very full coverage stuff. (You cannot find a single Bible verse that says that never married adult women must submit to a man because there is no such concept. there is one kind of safety plan while the victim is still living with the abuser, and the plan gets modified when she leaves the abuser, and modified again when things alter significantly, such as if the abuser loses his job, if a court hearing is pending or has just happened, or when anything changes which might affect the risk for the victim. The church needs to know this is going on. The ones who claim they enjoy it have psychological issues, but its not due to wanting to be abused that is sick. Have they been able to escape and at what cost? First let me say that my husband and I have just recently found your site and think it is wonderful. And like you, I really enjoy being described as a feministit means a ton of different things, but generally its not something I get accused of, either. Lydia: Just saying my exegesis (please note the spelling) is wrong does not establish that it is. I am amazed to see so much intolerance. My father and his loser ilk liked Christianity because no woman with any self respect would stay married to them once she got to know the real him, have sex with him, or have children with him. Male headship is followed all over the world.. He is the boss. I love DD. What a heartless bunch. I have a dear friend in a marriage filled with Spiritual Abuse. _Deborah and the no available men argument_. This, to me, is a strong leader. Focusing on building our own happy families is the best law we can pass and the best data science we can make because it will make a lasting impression on people and they will engrave in their hearts. and gave the man more work into the bargain. May we all work to protect women and expose this shameful sin and crime in our churches. Julie Anne, your visitors are in the main grindingly politically correct and feminist and you are the chief, so much so that you cannot see that the Junia site, advocating for the inclusion of women in leadership in the Christian church and for mutuality in marriage is not the slightest bit feminist and flying in the face of scripture (starting with Genesis 2:18 and 3:16 funny how many great verses in the Bible are 3:16, isnt it? If it makes it hotter for them to mix in some faith? Here is the link: https://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2016/06/30/wife-asks-for-input-regarding-her-husband-who-paddles-her/. I find your style offensive. Does the power differential matter? And they have no right to it. I agree with you also but I dont agree on what some people say about pastors Spanking other peoples wives and brothers Spanking their sisters and son spanking their mothers I mean that just Blows my mind away right there I think if its between a husband and his wife only then whatever floats their boat more power to them, Ruth, how old are you? Especially when you factor in that they are free to leave these relationships anytime. The first thing we were told was a regularly scheduled spanking, and maintenance spanking, was needed, and it should be daily in the beginning. This is really strange, as it seems the husband turned a non-consensual sex fetish into his personal gratification and not his wifes, while hurting her mentally and physically through some crazy fabricated punishment, Lets treat adults like adult and lets avoid the temptation of playing the role of God.. Gary, You have said nothing. I get two on Sunday, one in the morning before worship, and one in the evening before bible study. . Oh, and if lonely wolf comes here and puts you down like he has done to others, if he comes abusing you by accusing you, we will know that he is just one more supposed Christian who has elected to do the devils work where you are concerned. How else can we understand what we havent gone through, or learn to avoid causing needless suffering to those around us? of Lone Voice, A question to everyone here: If a man treats his sex partner as a child he should discipline, does that make him a quasi-paedophile? They have since been removed from YouTube. His thumb nail was shorter but still long enough to make the marks I saw on the left side of [redacted] neck. And the part of the body does not change it from abuse to discipline if you were to grab a stranger and hit him on the bottom, youd be up for assault charges. Ben has never told me to do anything sinful I do getting spankings sometimes by other men in authority like my dad and my Minister, Ben says that OK because they are authority figures and he has given them permission to correct me. Elijah did not begin by being arrogant, dogmatic, self-congratulating and dismissive (like you have been in this discussion). Just as with contracts, there can be duress in various forms, be it a demotion and other forms of financial abuse, bad grades and other forms of potentially public defamation, and just the simple threat of increased violence. I take it that you are a man pretending to be a woman. Women do not secretly want to be controlled and desired. This perception betrays the fact that you are hating what you do not even understand. But just like a chocolate addict will eat carob in moments of dire necessity. Im issuing a trigger warning for this subject. How? Jesus bucked the patriarchal norms of his own culture to teach women. The Bible says that husbands are to submit to their wives, Eph 5:21: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Thanks again! I dont remember a bible verse where Jesus said I had to be (bad word) against my will. As a sexually abused little girl growing up in misogynistic Christianity I always felt like god was my pimp.
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