As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Like. 4:18 . See production, box office & company info. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? 'A Million Ways to Die in the West': Inside the 'Mustache Song'. Then Stark must put his newfound bravery to the test when Anna's outlaw husband arrives with plans to plant him in an unmarked grave. Opens Friday at major theatres 14A. Seth MacFarlane directs, produces, co-writes and plays the role of the cowardly sheep farmer Albert in A Million Ways to Die in the West. We follow the life of Albert Stark (Seth MacFarlane), an incompetent and inept sheep farmer whose girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) breaks up with him because of his glaring lack of courage and skill. Well, did he at least hear all the smart things I said? Me too. Anna: Yeah, well, I'll go with you. 2 likes. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. rights reserved. For a few chuckles more. Louise: You're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Ted became one of the highest-grossing comedies ever made, he pretty much had the freedom to do whatever he wanted for his second movie. Opens Friday at major . It found more than 1,100 deaths a year from climate change-caused heat in . When she sees me, she'll be intimidated as f***. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. PREVIEW. The movies best lines are typically one-liners that rarely come from the lips of MacFarlane, who frequently oversells a joke when he isnt merely spouting obscenities. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Edward: No I feel like I should have a piece of cake or something. permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. All rights reserved. Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Albert's vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. If MacFarlane had spent as much time crafting jokes as he did writing the lyrics for the amusing title tune (sung by country ace Alan Jackson) and the catchy mid-film number The Mustache Song, A Million Ways to Die in the West would have been a much better movie. Old Stump Bluegrass. Anna: [to Louise] How can you be so blind with eyes that big?! [stammers] It's a weather experiment. Entertainment Weekly is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation All Rights Reserved. Albert: Okay, all right, get ready. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. I suck at dancing. Offers may be subject to change without notice. If You've Only Got a Moustache. Amick Byram. There may indeed be A Million Ways to Die in the West, as the title of Seth MacFarlanes parody western asserts. I look like I have Parkinson's next to him. One of A Million Ways to Die in the West is to give away all your jokes in the promos leading up to your film's debut. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action Little Mermaid with a new generation's Ariel. You know, like snakes. After backing out of a duel and losing his girlfriend, sheep farmer Albert slowly rebuilds his self-respect with the help of a married woman. Anna: There is something about connecting over mutual hatred that is just so much deeper than mutual love. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. MacFARLANE: It always depends on the gag, more than the person. Ditto the overdone sideshow of Sarah Silvermans energetic town prostitute bonding with Giovanni Ribisis bible-thumping virginal shoemaker. After all, you can never go wrong combining westerns and music . Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us. After Albert backs out of a gunfight, his fickle girlfriend leaves him for another man. 2014 Back Lot Music. [leaves]. . CookiePolicy Web. Apple Inc. Comedy 2014 1 hr 55 min. "A Million Ways to Die in the West" lacks the inspired lunacy of Mel Brooks' timeless Western, and won't last the ages as a seminal swipe at the genre, but at least MacFarlane gives the . All rights reserved. She is now with a dapper, successful, extroverted store owner, Foy, a fact Foy keeps reminding him of. And in director/co-writer/star Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West (in theaters today), Neil Patrick Harris, playing the douchebag proprietor of an Old West mustache shop, loses a . Albert: You know what else can kill you? I mean, sure it's faster than the Pony Express, but what good is it if you can't send a picture of your dick? and the Seth MacFarlane writes, directs and stars in this Western about a sheep farmer who falls in love with an outlaw's wife. Cochise: There is an ancient proverb among my people: Sometimes the only way for a man to find true happiness is to take drugs in a group. It was released on DVD and Blu-ray on October 7, 2014, and earned more than $15 million in home media sales. The real peculiarity of A Million Ways To Die in The West and what a waste of a great titleis that it's got no good reason to be a Western in the first place, tongue-in-cheek or not. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. 27 May 2014 In Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the film's best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny "Mustache . [Stark comes running around the corner and falls and his face]. Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, Psycho (The Complete Original Motion Picture Score), A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Edition], Classic Soundtracks: Psycho (1960 Film Score), The Imitation Game (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), The Magnificent Seven (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Hercules (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Cosmos: A SpaceTime Odyssey (Music from the Original TV Series), Vol. For example, if you drain a certain amount of venom from the fangs of a diamondback rattler into a hollow-tip bullet, you really only need one shot. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. Terms and Policies One father scolded his young son, "Take your hat off! Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. Entertainment Weekly may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. I'm not going to the stupid fair. By Stephen Holden. However, when the infamous West outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson) arrives in town, Albert realizes that he has just intruded on Clinch and Anna's husband-and-wife relationship, and Clinch is hungry for retribution. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action. Inspiration for the Work: The film originated as an inside joke between Seth MacFarlane and co-writers Alec Sulkin and Wesley Wild while they were watching Hang 'Em High. The film was number three at the box office during its opening weekend and grossed over $87 million worldwide against a budget of $40 million. If you do not yet have a Torstar account, you can create one now (it is free), Copyright owned or licensed by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited. 3 likes. Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: Somebody bring me one of them white women. I'm about to shoot a full load at your cans. To order That's a dollar bill!". She is now with a dapper, successful, extroverted store owner, Foy, a fact Foy keeps reminding him of. Monty Pythons Every Sperm is Sacred is sort of the best example I can think of, he said. Everything out here that's not you wants to kill you, angry drunk people, hungry animals, outlaws, the doctor." Albert gives a breakdown of just a few of the million ways to die in the West. The American West, 1880s. As a fan of Seth MacFarlane's series Family Guy and his feature film debut Ted, it's a shame to report that if you've seen the trailers for his new western comedy A . Star Wars Jedi: Survivor Has Perfected Lightsaber Combat, Project Milo Was a Big Swing (and a Miss) at Leveling Up Game AI, Mrs. Doubtfire Actor Matthew Lawrence Alleges He Lost Marvel Role After Refusing Director's Advances, Fan-Favorite Deadpool 2 Character is Returning for Deadpool 3, King of the Hill Actor Confirms Revival Will Feature a Time Jump, Amazon Prime Members: Get $5 in Free Amazon Credit, The Biggest Games Coming in May and Beyond, Xbox Storage Expansion Cards on Sale for New All-Time Low Price, Moon Mystery - Official Kickstarter Trailer, Marvel Cinematic Universe: Phase One - Avengers Assembled, Resident Evil 4 Clockwork Castellan Locations. MacFarlane deserve some credit for allowing Theron to upstage him, sometimes just with a knowing look. Copyright 2023 Meredith Corporation. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. Yet the screenplay he penned with Family Guy/Ted hands Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild is slapdash at best. Albert: and all I had to do was distract you while the poison entered your bloodstream. When she shoots, short cuts to the gallery show 10 targets, but 12 shots are heard and Anna wins the prize for perfect score. The film was released on May 30, 2014, in the United States, and distributed worldwide by Universal Pictures. Copyright 2023 There was a sheep in the whorehouse the last week. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. The American West, 1880s. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. It starts from a clever brain that ceased emotional development at age 12 and winds its way through to the orifice that emits the rudest noises and effluence. expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Toronto A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. The joke evolved into "riffing on the idea of how dull, depressing, and dangerous it must have been to live in the Wild West." Missing Trailer Scene: The bit with the doctor . He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. Halle Bailey, Melissa McCarthy, and director Rob Marshall share the tale behind making their underwater musical with a groundbreaking Disney princess. Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. A Million Waysto Die in the West is a gross-out Gunsmoke, with MacFarlane directing an old-timey facsimile of his modern self in the lead role of Albert, a cowardly sheep herder in the Arizona of 1882. R, 1 hr 55 min. Yet hes afraid to stray from knuckle-dragging comedy, being obsessed with jokes about farts, diarrhea and genitals that splat more often than they zing. Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. 15. If You've Only Got a Moustache. Albert: No, no, no, no! A Million Ways to Die in the West is a 2014 American Western black comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild.The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman, and Liam Neeson.The film follows a cowardly frontiersman who gains courage with the . When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. PREVIEW. 17+. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is a moronic 2. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Internet Service Terms A Million Ways to Die in the West, Seth MacFarlane's follow-up to Ted, has a solid cast and holds promise, but the trailers simply gave all the best jokes away. Albert: Oh my god, please! Albert: Oh, f*** that. R. Narrator: Some people are born into the wrong time and place. Louise: [flustered] They're not that big. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. 1882. 2014 Universal Studios. His comedy might be irreverent, but the key to success in a musical number, MacFarlane says, is treating your material with the utmost seriousness. Development for A Million Ways to Die in the West began while MacFarlane and co-writers Sulkin and Wild were watching western movies during the development of Ted. Do you know what kind of hours he has to work? There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights And, uh, wild animals. Edward: Okay, i'm gonna close the bible now. I suck at sheep. His running gag about how people never smile in old-fashioned photographs might have seemed hilarious on paper but it certainly isnt on the screen. 10. Wandered in there, and then when I went to pick it up, somehow it had made 20 dollars. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Directed by Seth MacFarlane. However, a pistol-packing woman named Anna (Theron) rides into town and helps Albert find his inner courage. Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. Is it possible to overthink moronic humour? Copyright 2023 When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. It just makes it that much funnier. Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. Apple TV & Privacy Ruth: But this is just the outside, there's these folds. A 2021 study estimated more than a third of U.S. heat deaths each year can be attributed to human-caused global warming. But if I caught you by surprise Well, Anna taught me just enough to get me in the ballpark. 18 Songs, 41 minutes But jokes that weren't funny the first time aren't funny the sixth time, either. Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Chinese Date: How should I know? Anna: Yeah, but those are quarter loads. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter These are full loads. Nov 20, 2014. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - He Drank the Whole Bowl! "Don't go snackin' if you been tobaccin'.". George Stark: [Farts] That came out of my penis! [Albert notices a glow from inside a building and peeks inside], [It is Doc Brown from "Back to the Future" working on the DeLorean, which is under a tarp; Doc notices Albert and covers up the car]. The one thing a sheep farmer has to do is keep all of the sheep in one place, all right? Support. Albert: My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug. Louise is gonna be there, and she's gonna be with Foy. Anna: God, why are the Indians always so mad? Quotes.net. There is a post-credits sequence involving the gunman at the fair from the final scene. Now, I knew my aim wasn't good enough to hit you anywhere important. Your mileage may vary depending on your enthusiasm for his smirking frat-boy comedy. Albert: I know. Albert: Oh. Albert: [At target practice] I fired a gun at the shooting gallery. 1882. "There it is!" "Dear God, look at it!" "It's beautiful!". 1:31. Here are your picks for the Best of the Capital Region 2023 Basically, if it's not you, it wants to kill you, and just might succeed. 1882. Like, My God, you put all this work and all this time and all this artistry into a song about sperm?'. Overly crude jokes and gross-out humor drag comedy down. The 50 greatest TV and movie detectives of all time. He was Methodist, I'm half Jewish. Apple Inc. this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put . But some men were just big giant pussies. All Rights Reserved. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? Listen to "A Million Ways to Die" below and let us know what you think. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. Seth MacFarlane's western spoof A Million Ways to Die in the West includes nods to such genre classics as The Searchers and Unforgiven. This was the American frontier in 1882, a hard land for hard folk. Holy sh*t. To build a home and a life in this harsh, unforgiving country required that a man be bold, fearless, and tough as iron. After his directorial debut Ted was widely praised by critics and became one of the highest-grossing R-rated comedies ever made, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane had the freedom to do whatever he wanted with . Its justits a song about sperm, and yet they treat it with such legitimacy in their orchestration and their vocal performance and their choreography, and its this huge number with what looks to be over 100 dancers on screen. Check out the interactive photo below for more details on the scene. - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. With Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson. I read an article in the paper. Vulgar, crude, self-referential, and irreverent, A Million Ways to Die in the West is a typical Seth MacFarlane comedy. The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman and Liam Neeson. Albert: The guy is one of the best shots around. But I got great tits. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". Comedy, Romance, Western. Listen to A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) by Joel McNeely on Apple Music. I don't wanna put myself through that kind of f***ing aggravation. A Million Ways to Die in the West. I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am. Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. Anna: I'm a little cocky. A Million Ways to Die in the West rides into theaters . Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". And then, for a good reason, Albert gets dumped by his charming girlfriend, Louise, only to fall head over heels in love with the intriguingly mysterious, horse-riding and pistol-packing stranger, Anna. This is MacFarlanes first live-action lead role (he voiced the potty-mouthed bear in Ted) and for my money hes simply not great at being the leading man, coming off as more obnoxious than straight-up funny. Anna and Albert. And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. This version also has even more footage in deleted scenes, and an alternate beginning and ending. And if they dont work the first time, hell try and try again. Our old schoolmarm got her throat slit by a fast moving tumbleweed. Albert: Hey, sorry I killed your husband. But theres just one path to his infantile humour. What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Hes outclassed by Charlize Theron, who shows off her comedy chops in a surprisingly big way and generally seems to be enjoying herself. Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. All Your sheep are everywhere. Seth MacFarlane, the rowdy "Family Guy" creator who wrote, directed, and stars in the new comedy "A Million Ways to Die in the West," stopped by TODAY Thursday to talk about the film. And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. 2014 | Maturity rating: 16+ | 1h 55m | Comedies. Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Albert's vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. to colleagues, clients or customers, or inquire about Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. Barn Dance Comedian: I tell you, folks, this telegraph machine, that thing is nuts. Anna: Oh God, that was never gonna work out anyway. Louise was right, I can't keep track of them. Republication or distribution of this content is Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. Millie: You're okay with your girlfriend screwing, like, 15 different guys every day and getting paid to do it? He followed up Ted with 2014's A Million Ways to Die in the West, a spoof of westerns pointing out just how bleak and unromantic life in the Old West would've been. I never see him. The only time it came out of nowhere was when Charlize said, "Hey, Ewan McGregor is doing a movie up the street!" Edward: Please don't shoot us on sex night. A Million Ways to Die in the West hits theaters on May 30. McNeely bases his playful and robust score on classic silver screen-era Westerns, offering up a pastiche that's both reverent and self-aware, while the theme song, which is performed by Alan Jackson, and "If You've Only Got a Mustache," the latter of which is performed by Grammy-nominated American tenor Amick Byram, are as goofy as they are .
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